If a man tells you that he doesn't want to know about your past but then investigates your relationships and reads your emails and diary. You may want to end it there. When you catch him with your emails open or going through your recent calls another good time to RUN but let's say he can convince you that you somehow put these thoughts in his head about cheating or that YOU somehow gave to much information about yourself in the beginning even after he said he didn't want to know.. Lets just say you were stupid enough to overlook that invasion of privacy and obvious insane behavior. Maybe you'd end it IF he smacked you across the face after reading an email you wrote before you had ever met him . An email he found while going through your FB while you were changing after a night out to dinner ( Another absolute invasion of privacy and now violence )
So the guy who said not to ask about him has now smacked you. Maybe you are not the only woman he's done this with or does he just LOVE you so much he's spinning. Right it can't be that would make you one of many and that can't be true for YOU. Your ego won't allow that. Calling 911 and ending it there would make for some serious "I can't believe I ever dated this looser" conversation between you and your girls. BUT lets for the sake of this story say. You forgave him for that and for the next 5 or 6 times he lost his temper and smacked you. Lets say that somewhere between that 1st date and the last smack you lost yourself. Let's imagine you took this person back. That you held his head while you watched TV and rubbed his feet cause that's what he likes. That you let him in your world and tried to put lipstick on this pig cause really you just wanted a pig in lipstick...
What would it take before you realized that this is not a good guy and more importantly, when will you stop and notice that you have disappeared. You have disappeared and you are now here... Stuck in this. Stuck with him and trying to find anyway to make this uncomfortable unhappy make believe thing fit. Trying to live in an absolute unlivable situation and wondering why you can't help him find his heart. If he could just find his heart then maybe there would be some normal. You start to give in and give up and become more and more like him . He can't step up to where you are BUT you can after the fighting after the names and the smacks and the spit you can find your RAGE. You can loose sight of the good and the life you built before. You are blinded by the crazy and now the before seems so long ago and the after seems so far away that you adjust to less then you deserve and you stoop down to him and you become the names and the anger and you SNAP.
It is not as hard as it sounds to get pulled into the gutter if you loose your balance and he's holding on to you with two hands. There comes a time when your instinct take over and you question ever word every moment .. You walk on eggshells like a runway. You've broken. Then lets say there is something inside you that knows that this is wrong. That saving him is not your job. You look at him and feel nothing but disgust and fear. Your gut tells you that every word was a lie. You finally "ask about him" and find that his whole story was a lie. You are just at the end of a long list of "woman he can't live without" He is not only NOT a good guy but he is a really BAD one. He is so pathological that there is no way to even get him to see what you see , what everyone else sees.. To ever take responsibility or change. He is not worth saving.
The facts are falling all around you and the moment of revolution is near. You start asking more and more as you should have from the beginning and you start hearing more and more. It's gets uglier and uglier. You see now that there may not be any good here. No good in him to find. That you don't know this person and now you are not sure who YOU are anymore either. BUT now the facts remain that you are instinctively good. You came in good and happy with heart and hope. You went through a war with someone who choose this with everyone. War is all he has. This is what he does with every woman before and will continue to do with every woman after. But you are different then him because you know love.
You have truth and faith and you may have crashed hard and hit the bottom with him but for you there is an UP and for him there is NOT. There is a peace in seeing the truth even if it's not what you wanted it to be. My point of this "fictional" story is when and if you doubt a person always trust your gut. When a person says "Not to ask about them" ask and ask and ask some more...You can't love the scars off someone who is damaged beyond repair and when you're afraid you should RUN .. People can change you if you let them for either better or for worse so be careful of wolves in cheap sweatpants and keep your eyes open for the good guys. They are out there somewhere.
